The Great Prank War
by SweetPeapod
Summary: Where they all learn not to mess with Alec's hair, and that they're all devious pranksters. Especially Magnus.
1. It Begins

Buzzzzzz.

Bang.

Bang.

Buzzzzzz.

Magnus cracked an eye open. He couldn't tell if the sun was out or not. Either way he was annoyed.

Buzzzzz.

Tearing the covers off of him Magnus sprang out of bed. Sparing a thought that his duck patterned pajamas might not be the best for intimidation he yanked his door open. "WHO DAR-"

"Magnus!" Alec panted. "Can you fix it?!"

Magnus blinked, still in mid yell. He did a quick check of Alec's health. Limbs intact, clothes not bloody, pink hair. Pink hair? "Ah. Come in." Magnus moved to the side. "This is obviously an emergency of the highest kind."

Alec walked in and immediately started pacing. "No matter how many times I wash it the color never changes! I started aiming for even a slightly less hot pink!"

"Really?" Magnus was impressed. "What hair dye did they use?"

Alec stopped to look incredulously at him. Magnus shrugged. "That's some excellent hair dye."

"No, no no." Alec shook his head and pulled a bottle out of his pocket. "Clary put a rune on this hair dye to make it stay." On closer inspection there was some sort of a black squibble. Shadowhunter runes all looked the same to him.

"Hmmm." Magnus snapped his fingers and blue sparks flew off his fingertips. But Alec's hair stayed a brilliant shade of pink. "Oh Dear."

Alec's eyes widened. "What do you mean, oh dear?"

"Wellllllll..." Magnus drawled. "Maybe it's slightly darker."

At that something in Alec seemed to snap and he ran throughout the apartment.

"Ah." Magnus called. "Darling?"

There was a faint "what!" And a muffled crash.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking for a mirror!" Alec ran back into the room. "And I kind of crashed into your bathroom. Why do you have so much glitter?"

Alec did indeed look like he crashed into his glitter collection. There was some in his hair, and most of it on his clothes.

"I like that look." Magnus nodded approvingly.

Alec rolled his eyes. "Of course. I have like five pounds on."

"The pink hair isn't bad either." Magnus mused, a smile starting to turn the corners of his mouth.

"It's your dream come true. You finally got me in glitter and my hairs crazy." Alec stated, and then continued pacing.

"Remind me to thank Clary." Magnus chuckled. When Alec didn't stop pacing he grabbed his arm. "Why don't you ask her to fix it? She's the only one who can."

Alec considered it. A devious smile spread across his face. "No. I'm going to get her back. And you're going to help me."

And so began the prank war.

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything**

**Please review! It would make my day! **


	2. Simon's Jumpy

**Just so you know, this is after City of Heavenly Fire. Enjoy!**

Alec crept thought the institute. He had silence runes on and his hair underneath a black beanie. Pink hair isn't good when you want to be stealthy.

The sun wasn't due to rise for a couple of hours. Since he was always the first awake he thought now would be the best bet for everyone sleeping.

"Did you just get back from Magnus's?"

Alec whirled around to see Izzy smirking at him from the kitchen. "Uh...yes." When Izzy's smirk grew he waved his arms. "No! I mean I did, but we didn-"

"You guys didn't" Izzy's eyes sparked "how'd he put it? Canoodle?"

"No! Not that time. I mean-" Alec was extremely embarrassed. His face had gone past the tomato stage.

Isabelle cocked her head. "So you guys have done it?" She asked casually.

Alec took a deep breath and gathered himself. He pointed an angry finger at his sister. "That is none of your business. And what are you doing!" He desperately searched for something to accuse her of. "Having a midnight snack! That is unhealthy!" With that he practically ran away.

Xxx

By the time his face returned to a normal color he had made it to Clary's room.

Slowly, he opened the door and let his eyes adjust. Clary was indeed sleeping. His eyes scanned the rest of the room before finding his target on the nightstand. Her stele.

He walked over and gave Clary a cautious look. At least she didn't drool in her sleep.

Grabbing the stele he pulled out the bottle of glue. Magnus had enchanted it so nothing would be able to take it off. Frowning in concentration, Alec poured glue over the handle of the stele, not even surprised that it was glitter glue also.

Then he placed it into Clary's hand. She unconsciously grabbed it in her sleep and he sneaked out. Mission accomplished.

Xxxxx

"Ahhhh!"

Simon started and looked around the kitchen wildly. "What was that?" He looked to Izzy who only shrugged

noncommittally. Guess random bellows of rage were common here.

He jumped again when Clary burst into the room. Izzy glanced over at him. "We need to work on your nerves."

"Look at this!" Clary yelled, waving her stele around.

"Ah yes, a stele. I know that one." Simon said.

"No! It's glued to my hand!"

Simon looked closer. It did seem to be awfully attached to her hand. "I'm new to this but I don't think that's how it's supposed to work."

"It's not." Clary exclaimed. "And it's glittery!"

"It'll be the new thing in Shadowhunter fashion. Magnus will be proud." Izzy stated.

Clary's eyes narrowed. "Magnus. And Alec. When I find them I'm going to lovingly smack them. Where's Jace? I need his help."

"I don't think Jace is the lovingly smacking type. More like 'look at me, I will defeat you all through the power of my abs and with my eyes closed' kinda thing." Simon said. When Izzy and Clary just stared at him he put his hands up. "From a very heterosexual point of view of course."

"Well. You do have a conveniently placed weapon to hit them on the head with." Izzy observed.

"Indeed." Clary said and then swung out the door. She wasn't going to let them off easy.

**Thanks to all of you who reviewed and favorited! I rushed to get another chapter for you guys. Please review** **and let me know what you think :) give me prank ideas too if you want. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Mortal Instruments**


	3. Gluing Rampage

"Simon, you know you're my best friend right?"

Simon looked at Clary warily. She was using the puppy dog eyes. Never a good sign. "..Yes?"

"We need you to distract Alec and Magnus." She clasped her hands together hopefully and narrowly missed hitting herself in the face with the stele.

"Oh no. You are not dragging me into this." Simon backed away from the sheer horror of the situation. "The best friend card is a low blow. And the puppy dog eyes have no power here."

Jace apparently decided Clary needed assistance as he appeared from behind her with a similar pleading look.

"That definitely won't work." Simon deadpanned.

"I'll buy you that game you want." Clary said, wiggling her eyebrows. "And I'm not just your best friend. I'm your best friend in the whole wide world."

"Ah man." _Stay strong Lewis, stay strong._"Fine." _Dammit._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Simon was sitting across from Magnus and Alec at Taki's with images of being turned into a rat again running through his mind. "So, you guys are probably wondering why I asked you to come here."

Alec and Magnus raised an eyebrow at the same time. The effect was pretty intimidating.

"Um, yes. A little bit. Unless you were planning to just stare at us." Alec said.

"Right." Simon scrambled for something to say. "With the memory loss thing, I wanted to get some blanks filled in."

Alec frowned. "Why not Izzy? Or Clary?"

"Only you two can answer these."

Alec gave him a weird look and Magnus's face was expressionless. "Okay?"

Simon didn't think he would get this far. Mostly that they would catch on right away and he'd be doomed. He blurted out the first thing he thought of. "When's your birthday Magnus?"

Magnus blinked. "I don't remember."

"He usually just says whatever age is convenient." Alec said happy to use the knowledge. He had reached that part in the book Magnus had written for him.

"Makes sense. Um, are stripes in or out?"

While Magnus's eyes lit up and he educated Simon about the current fashion, Simon thought that Clary and Jace better be done soon.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx

Clary chuckled. She was on a gluing rampage. She had glued all the eggs into the carton. She had glued cups onto the counter top. She had even glued coins onto the floor just for the Hell of it. She might have gotten a bit carried away because she even glued one of the tables to the wall. And she certainly had made sure Magnus wouldn't be able to get them off.

Peeking into the hallway she saw that Jace had entered Magnus's bedroom. Clary frowned. They had snuck into his apartment but she wouldn't go as far as that. "Jace, what are you doing?"

"I'm taking all his left shoes!" Jace called out gleefully. "Do you have any paper?"

"There are some napkins. Why?"

Jace bounded out of the room with a bag full of what Clary assumed to be shoes. "I am going to leave a ransom note."

Clary snorted. "You're an idiot."

"You mean a brilliant genius." Jace corrected.

Clary was about to retort when her phone buzzed. She glanced at the message and gestured to Jace. "It's time to go."

Jace signed the note with a flourish. "Let's get out of here."

**I hope you guys enjoyed it. I promise I shall try to do a longer chapter soon. Please let me know what you think. Reviews are my addiction :D**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything**


	4. C'mon Losers, We're Going Pranking

**Thanks for all the reviews and favorites! Enjoy! **

The first thing Magnus noticed was the table on the wall.

Alec entered behind him. "Oh no."

"This actually gives me an idea for my next party." Magnus mused. _Alice in Wonderland would be nice._

Alec walked over and experimentally pushed on it. It didn't budge.

"If only she glued some chairs too." Magnus said.

"Well, she did glue some cups." Alec pointed at the ground. "And coins."

"Now that's cruel." Magnus sighed. "I could've bought a coffee with that change. Oh well." He snapped his fingers and a steaming cup of coffee appeared in his hand. He was debating if it was safe to sip when he heard Alec snort.

"They left a ransom note."

Magnus moved behind him to read it.

_Dearest Enemies, _

_I have all of Magnus's left shoes. Even yours Alec. Fix Clary's stele and I will return them. _

_Jace, Clary, and most definitely not Simon. _

"I think it's safe to guess Simon helped them." Magnus said.

Alec was fixated on more important matters. "What about my hair?"

"Right." Magnus threw the note behind him. "Talk to Isabelle."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Isabelle watched silently as Alec sneaked out of Jace's room. "What'd you do now?"

Alec grinned. "Nothing much. Just moved everything two inches to the right."

Izzy rolled her eyes. "That's one of the dumbest pranks I've heard of."

He shrugged. "It'll drive Jace crazy."

Izzy stared and came to a decision. "You guys need my help." She turned on her heel and marched away. "C'mon loser, we're going pranking."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jace froze in the doorway of his bedroom and visibly shuddered. "Something's wrong."

Clary peeked in from behind him. "It looks the same to me."

Jace warily walked in and banged his hip on a dresser. "Gah." He turned to face Clary and Simon and tripped over a chair.

Simon cut his eyes to Clary. "Is there some kind of Shadowhunter kryptonite in here?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Magnus smiled when he saw who was calling. "Hello?"

Izzy's voice sounded cheerfully. "Alec moved everything in Jace's room two inches to the right."

Magnus chuckled. "How devious."

Izzy replaced the last of the food in the fridge with her cooking. "You have any ideas?"

Magnus flopped down onto a couch. "Yes actually. I need Jace out of the Institute so I can cast this spell."

Izzy hesitated. "What kind of spell?"

"Oh, it's perfectly harmless. I did it on my friend Ragnor, and he was the life of the party afterward."

"I _swear_ if you turn him into some rodent Magnus-"

"Nothing of the sort." Magnus assured her. "And bring Clary too. Or atleast her ipod."

"What. Why?"

"Look up Kidz Bop and you'll understand."

Izzy rolled her eyes. "Fine. This better be worth it."

"It will. I'll take you on a shopping trip of a lifetime."

Izzy hung up and Magnus tossed his phone onto the other side of the couch. At least he meant too, as it hit the table on the wall instead.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Isabelle and Alec stared in mute horror at the computer.

_I'm gunna pop some tags, only got twenty dollars in my pocket_

_I'm I'm hunting, looking for a come up, this is really awesome_

"What is this?" Izzy asked.

"I'd rather be attacked by a Greater Demon then listen to this." Alec stated wide-eyed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Clary, Simon, and Jace stood outside the institute.

"Okay. What's the point of this?" Simon asked.

Jace opened his mouth and stopped when blue sparks surrounded him. "I have a sudden sense of impending doom." he informed the others.

At that moment Magnus walked past the entrance and waved jovially at them.

"You!" Jace yelled. He tensed to run after him, but his body had other plans. "Ah! What am I doing?!"

Clary and Simon looked like they were trying not to burst out laughing.

"Ummm, you're doing the Carlton." Simon said.

Jace looked in horror at his flailing limbs. "By the Angel! Does Magnus dance like this?"

"I hope not." Simon said.

"I've heard there's more gyrating." Clary added.

Jace looked even more terrified. "I'm going after him."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jace had finally stopped doing the Carlton and was heading determinedly to Magnus's apartment. "Remind me to throw his shoes in the river."

"Yes Sir." Said Simon sarcastically.

Jace smiled. "I like the sound of that."

"Say Jace?" Simon prodded. "Do you also like the sound of dancing?"

"No! I do not!" Jace answered vehemently. But his right hand swung up. "Ahhh. What is it this time." He watched detachedly while his left hand came up too. His hands flipped over and went to his shoulders.

Clary's lips quirked. "The Macarena. It's a classic."

"I am questioning mundane's sanity." Jace put his hands on his hips and swung them. With his irritated expression it was a pretty amusing picture. He heard a far away 'Aye aye Macarena!' "They're crazy."

"You can't be angry while doing the Macarena Jace." Simon teased.

"Oh yes I can." Jace said. He looked over and saw that people were joining him. "There isn't even any music playing! I'm not doing this willingly!"

"That doesn't help you look any less weird." Simon advised.

More people had joined the impromptu dance. There were at least ten of them.

"You've started a dance revolution." Clary said.

"I don't know you two." Simon stated and scurried off.

"What! Traitor!" Jace yelled after him. He managed to turn his head to look at Clary. "Join me?"

Clary sighed. "You're lucky I love you." She stood next to him and jumped in. "Aye aye Macarena!"

**Poor Jace. Reviewwww? :D**

Disclaimer: Don't own anything


	5. What

"I don't want no namby-pamby pink potion."

Magnus stared at his client Jim, an extremely irritable werewolf with a constant sneer on his face. He hated anything that didn't fit in his version of manly. It was taking all of his willpower not to turn the werewolf rainbow or something. "What color would you prefer?"

"Red. Dark red. Like the blood of my enemies!"

Magnus's eyes twitched. He's had some crazy customers, but this one took the cake. "Coming right up." He swished his fingers and the potion turned red. "Good enough?"

"Gah." Jim said.

Raising his eyebrow Magnus glanced at him. Jim was frozen is a state of shock and mild horror. Magnus turned to see that he was staring at Alec who had just entered the room. Or more specifically, Alec's hair.

"Um." Alec had noticed Jim staring at him. "Just...grabbing something?" He shot Magnus a confused look and walked back out.

"Okay." Magnus said before Jim said something and he would have to injure him. "It's done."

Jim huffed and prepared to pay. At that moment Jace and Clary rushed in, with Simon being dragged along.

"Magnus!" Jace yelled and cursed as his limbs betrayed him again. His arms flapped like a chicken four times, and then he wiggled side to side.

"The chicken dance. Another classic." Clary commented.

_Clap clap clap clap. _"I hate this!" Jace exclaimed.

"What." Said Jim.

Magnus gestured to Jace. "Shadowhunters. Very dangerous and frightening. I believe that is his mating dance."

Jace shot Magnus a WTF face. Jim did the same to Jace. Unfortunately, Jace's dancing was bringing him closer and closer to the werewolf.

"Uh-oh" Simon said cheerfully. "Looks like you have competition Clary."

Since Simon looked to happy, Magnus snapped his fingers and Simon was wearing a polka-dotted dress.

Simon looked down. "I'm not even surprised." He said resignedly.

Alec and Isabelle entered the room to see what was going on. Isabelle saw Simon and immediately walked right back out.

Meanwhile, Jim looked like he was on the verge of either hyperventilating or breaking everything in the room. Magnus realized he needed to diffuse the situation quickly. He stood up and ushered his client out of the room. When they reached the door Jim gave Magnus the payment shakily, still looking traumatized. Magnus closed the door on his face. _Good riddance. _

**Sorry it's so short guys, it's kind of a teaser chapter I guess. I will update soon! Let me know what you think! And since I can't message them:**

**Guest: I feel special! Thank you so much! **

**Guest(yoyoyo): I love how you reviewed just to tell me that you hate kidz bop. It made me chuckle. I'm with you. I think everyone's with you.**

**Also, thank you KenzieAnn04 for the chicken dance idea. You go glen coco**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything**


	6. It's an orange

Simon was finding that it was hard being intimidating in a dress. He bravely continued anyway. "I think we should call a temporary truce." Everyone stared at him. "Alec and Clary could reverse each other's pranks, Jace can give the shoes back, and Magnus can remove the spell. Then we can continue later."

Alec looked up at his hair. The color had not faded one bit. Jace twitched nervously as he hoped he would not start dancing. Magnus thought of the shoes that would perfectly match his outfit for tomorrow. Clary just wanted the stele off.

"Fine." Magnus said eventually.

"Whatever." Joined Izzy.

"Then the notion is seconded!" Simon adjusted the top of the dress. "Let's do this."

* * *

_The Treaty Of Awesome People( And Magnus, Alec, and Izzy)_

_Magnus will take the spell of Jace, who will in turn return the shoes. _

_Clary will fix Alec's hair, and Alec will fix Clary's stele._

_The pranks cannot be permanent( A maximum of three days)_

_The Truce ends at 9:00 AM tomorrow._

"Now we just need to sign." Simon said.

Jace grabbed the pen and took up half the page. "I would be randomly dancing forever if it was up to you Magnus."

Magnus delicately grabbed the pen and signed with a practiced hand. "And I would've done you a favor."

Clary accepted the pen and signed with a messy scrawl. "I like your dancing Jace."

Alec signed next, his signature neat and precise. "I like Magnus's dancing."

Jace froze. _Gyrating._ He never wanted that image in his head again.

Izzy signed in large, bold strokes. "I like my dancing."

Simon took the pen. He warily looked at the others who were all glaring to some degree."So, tensions are pretty high."

No one even blinked.

"Okayyyy. Very high. I think we should eat dinner together. Here."

Magnus's eyes flashed. "I don't think so."

* * *

Magnus entered the kitchen with heaping plates of food. _Curse my soft heart. _"Hey!" He pointed at Jace, Clary, and Simon who was sitting huddled at the table. "No plotting at the dinner table!"

"You sound like my Mom." Clary observed.

"Don't make me separate you." Magnus threatened. He set the plates down and sat in between Alec and Izzy. "Let's eat."

Everyone dug in except for Jace who looked around confusedly. He didn't recognize half the food that was on the table. He looked around to see Alec and Izzy having no problem. Clary seemed to enjoy her stele-free hand as she was using her right hand excessively. He pointed towards a bowl full of shredded carrots and green stuff. "What's that?"

"Coleslaw." Alec happily replied. He had at least three servings of it on his plate.

"Hmm." One down, so many other options. He plopped some coleslaw on his plate and grabbed some pizza. Pizza was safe territory.

Simon looked at Jace. "Oh, I remember. You didn't know what a mango was."

"I know perfectly well what a mango is." Jace stated.

"_Now _you do."

Magnus summoned a grapefruit and waved it around. "What's this?"

Jace studied it. He had no idea. It wasn't an apple or a banana, and that's where his fruit knowledge ended. He said the only other fruit name he knew. "It's obviously an orange."

"Grapefruit." Magnus summoned a peach. "What's this?"

"A fuzzy monstrosity."

"Close enough. How about this?" He held up a kiwi.

"_That's_ an orange!" Jace stated confidently.

"Jace, Oranges are orange." Clary added helpfully.

"Where are you getting all this fruit from?" Simon asked.

"Some poor fellow." Izzy answered.

"Not important." Magnus said.

Simon looked around. "Did you even make this food?"

"Would it make you feel better if I said I did?"

"No, because now I know it's not true."

"Well, I made the coleslaw."

"And it's delicious!" Alec beamed.

"Magnus, this is Frozen pizza! All you had to do put it in the oven for like twenty minutes!" Simon exclaimed.

Magnus shrugged.

"So someone cooked this pizza and they turned around, and it just disappeared? Clary asked.

"Pretty much."

They sat and digested this information. Alec tried to hold back his laugh and ended up snorting. "Sorry. I just, imagine his face!" He made a shocked face. "Whhhhereeee'd my pizza go?"

Jace shook his head. "Terrible."

"Ehh." Magnus grabbed a slice of pizza. "I usually take it from where people won't notice it's gone. Dessert anyone?" At Simon's look he rolled his eyes. "I'll make it."

By the end of the night they were being friendly to one another, and there were no food fights as Magnus feared. But when Clary woke up tomorrow and used her ipod, that would all change.

* * *

******Oh my, I've had such writers block. This isn't one of my best chapters but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. On the bright side I've discovered the horizontal line break thing. How convenient!**

**So next chapter there will be pranks, and it will be longer. For sure. I got this. Maybe. **

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything.**

**Guest: Oooh you're still here! Yeah it was short. I'm glad you enjoyed :) **


	7. Not The Oreos

Clary's disbelief grew as she scrolled through her ipod music library. Every song that she had that kidz bop sang, the kidz bop version was on there.

Clary warily clicked on a song that kidz bop hadn't covered. Her eyes widenend. It was a bunch of kazoo's playing the melody.

_Click. _Ducks quaking the song.

_Click. _Magnus singing the song. He sounded suspiciously drunk.

_Click. _By the Angel. Magnus, Alec, _and _Izzy singing. It was truly terrible. And entertaining. It was almost worth the change of her music library to hear it. Especially Alec attempting to rap.

* * *

Simon stared at his bedroom ceiling. So far mainly Jace and Clary had been targeted. He had a hunch that he was going to be next. Maybe being an animal for three days. Being a horse would be nice. He could trample his enemies and ride off into the sunset.

His enemy would be laying down begging to be saved. And he would shake his mane and go "Neiighhh!" Yes. Yes. How badass.

But knowing his luck he'd be turned into a flamingo.

Simon turned onto his side and tried to think of other things. Pranks, Oreos, the names of seraph blades,etc. But it was no use. He kept picturing himself as a bright pink bird.

He picked up the phone and dialed Izzy.

"Hello?"

"Izzy. If by some chance I was turned into a flamingo, would you still love me?"

There was silence on the other end for a minute. "You'd only be a bird for a maximum of three days."

"Would you still love me for those three days?"

Izzy snorted. "Yes. You'd be a great flamingo trust me." Simon could hear crashing in the background. "Oops, gotta go. Plotting to do, and a drum-playing Magnus to stop."

Simon smiled. "Have fun."

* * *

Magnus frowned and banged on a symbol. "There has to be one instrument I can play."

"Well" Izzy drawled and grabbed his drumsticks. "The drums are not it."

"Crushing my dreams." Magnus said sadly. He picked up a guitar from behind him and experimentally strummed it. One of the strings popped loose. "Gah."

"Why don't you try a recorder?"

Magnus eyed her. "I am above the level of a recorder. Those are for the elementary schoolers and the unimaginative." He pulled out a bagpipe.

Alec intervened. "No. No way."

Magnus looked disappointed. "I could've worn a kilt."

"Look fashionable and destroy everyone's hearing! That's multi-tasking." Izzy said. "Now, plotting time."

"I think we should focus on Simon. And Jace. He's fun to mess with." Magnus mused.

"But no tuning Simon into a flamingo." Izzy said.

"How about Jace?" Magnus wanted to know.

Alec smirked. "He'd probably enjoy it. Pecking people and flying after them."

Izzy blinked. She had a vivid image of Jace the flamingo standing outside the window and trying to look intimidating. "He would. I have an idea for Simon."

* * *

Simon looked warily at the package of oreos outside his door. The tag read"Peace offering." "This must be a trap."

Clary hummed. "It could be."

Simon took an oreo and bit into it. After he chewed he could feel his soul slowly shattering. "Gggghhhh."

Clary looked at him. "You okay?"

"No. Who could do this to oreos? The inside isn't creamy goodness. It's toothpaste."

"You're too trusting Simon." Clary said pointing a finger at him. "This is war. Remember? Truces and everything."

"But." He looked longingly at the cookies. "Maybe only some of them have toothpaste in them. They're pretty lazy right?"

"If you want to risk, please, go on."

* * *

Izzy swung down the hallway to her room with Alec following closely behind. "I think you're going easy on Simon." Alec teased.

"Nope. He really loves oreos. He will be crushed."

Alec paused at Simon's door and cocked his head. "The cookies are gone. And I don't hear any sounds of heartbrokenness."

Izzy stopped to listen. They both heard a faint "Gggghhhh."

"Close enough." Izzy said.

Alec laughed and they continued on to Izzy's room. "Will he ever trust you again?" He asked sarcastically.

"I think I'll manage to earn it back." Izzy pushed her door open and froze. "Oh _Hell _no."

* * *

**Hey guys, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. All the reviews and favorites and follows certainly brightened my day :) I feel sickness creeping onto me. Curse you allergies and a traitor immune system. But anyways, next chapter will have a fair amount of Izzy's wrath. **

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything**


	8. Traitors

"Oh _Hell _no."

Clary met Simon's panicked look. "Time to go."

"Yes." Simon agreed. He flung himself out the door with the oreos cradled in his arms.

* * *

Izzy stared into her room. It was filled completely with balloons all the way to the ceiling. She turned to stare at Alec.

Alec stared back and raised an eyebrow, smiling. He had seen some crazy get ups at Magnus's apartment. This didn't even faze him. He handed Izzy his sword. "This might work better then your whip."

Izzy grabbed it and stabbed one of the balloons.

_Pop._

Izzy smiled and leaped into the room. "AHHHH!"

**_POPPOPPOPPOPPOPPOP._**

Alec leaned forward to watch. Izzy was standing on the ocean of balloons stabbing balloons left and right. Only Izzy could make popping balloons look badass.

Izzy stopped to look at Alec, a mischievous glint in her eye. _Oh no._

"Hah!" She threw a balloon at Alec's face.

Alec batted it away. "Hah!"

Izzy threw several at once. Alec managed to dodge all of them. Unfortunately for Alec , Izzy didn't give up that easy. She shoved piles of balloons out at once.

Alec pondered the balloons rapidly approaching him. He never thought he would be wary of a colorful wave of balloons. When they reached his knees he started rapidly stabbing them. "ISABELLE!"

"Oh no. The full first name!" _Boink. _A balloon hit Alec straight on the nose.

Alec snapped. "AAAAHHH!" He leaped into the room with her, stabbing balloons and throwing them at her.

* * *

Jace looked up to see Izzy glaring at him. It was a glare that would've made a lesser man run away in terror. As it was, Jace did twitch a little. "Why Izzy. You have balloon bits in your hair." He said innocently.

It didn't seem possible but Izzy's glare got darker. "Don't act surprised."

"Hm. Well!" Jace bolted out of the room.

"Coward!" Izzy ran after him.

* * *

Clary paused outside the institute gates. "What about Jace?"

Simon stopped next to her. "It was nice knowing him."

Clary smiled and shoved him lightly. "We can't leave a team mate behind."

"Right. Just because he's a team mate. Not because he's Jace and your boyfriend."

"AND HE'S IN TROUBLE!" Jace shouted.

Clary and Simon blinked. Jace was waving his arms frantically and running for his life. The reason why became clear when Izzy sprinted after him, deadly intent clear on her face.

Simon smiled. "That's my girl."

They disappeared around the corner and reappeared around the opposite side a few minutes later.

"The institute is pretty big. That's an impressive speed." Simon observed.

"Hmm." Clary agreed.

Jace noticed they were standing exactly the way they were before and his arm waving became irritated. "TRAITORS!"

"I guess we should do something." Simon said.

"Yeah." Clary agreed.

Jace and Izzy disappeared around the corner again; Jace running backwards to guilt trip them for longer with a hurt face.

"When they come around again." Clary said.

* * *

**Sorry for the wait. It's gunna be busy for a while so I won't be able to update as fast. :( . But I'll try just for you guys. Thanks for all the reviews and favorites! You all are lovely!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything**


	9. Ducks

"What are you thinking about?"

Alec added an idea to the list titled "Devious deeds to be done." "I had a near death experience with balloons."

Magnus smiled. "Not the worst way to go."

Alec bit his bottom lip and crossed his idea out. "Not the best."

Magnus grabbed the list and looked at what Alec had crossed out. "All I can see is the word ducks."

Alec sighed and flopped onto the floor. "I'm no good at this."

Magnus flopped next to him and crossed his legs. "Let out your inner prankster. I know it's in you."

Alec huffed. "Ducks." His brow furrowed in intense concentration. "Ducks. Ducksducksducks. Duck's doing….things. Duck's being…somewhere…"

Magnus watched Alec patiently with a growing smile.

"Duuuuuckssss." Alec sighed. "I got nothing."

"Ah, my young shadowhunter, I will teach you the ways." He grabbed a new sheet of paper and wrote ducks on top of it. "Now put something. Anything. It doesn't have to make sense."

Alec hesitantly took the paper and wrote the first thing he thought of. _Ducks in tuxedos._

"Oooh, fashionable ducks." _Ducks that won't stop quacking._

Alec smirked. _Ducks that imprint on Jace._

Magnus threw his head back and laughed. "Good. Now, help me think of something for Simon."

"Simon." Alec said and looked down at the paper.

"Simon." Izzy growled from where she was sitting on the couch.

Alec jumped a little and Magnus's eyes widened. They had forgotten she was there.

"Jace." Izzy growled even more menacingly.

Magnus twirled a pen around his fingers. "Lover's spat?"

"And she couldn't catch Jace." Alec explained.

A picture of Will Herondale running after the demon who he believed had cursed him flashed through Magnus's mind. "Yes. I imagine he's fast." He looked toward Izzy. "Two star-crossed lovers, fighting on opposite sides-"

Izzy sat up and threw a couch cushion at him. "Shut up Magnus."

Magnus lazily rolled out of the way. "How romantic!" When a second cushion came flying his way he couldn't dodge it completely. "Ahhhh! Protect me Alec!"

Alec shuffled over so he was sitting in front of Magnus. A pillow from a nearby couch promptly hit him in the face. "Izzy! What is it with you throwing things at my face?" Another pillow flew at him and he pushed it away.

"My hero!" Magnus fluttered his eyelashes.

Alec growled when Izzy continued to find ammunition. "Can't you just magic the pillows away?"

"Then what would she throw?" Magnus mused. "I prefer the pillows. Besides we have a nice pile going to retaliate."

* * *

Jace crossed his arms. "You guys were no help."

"Well." Simon said. "We were eventually. Besides, I thought you were a fierce warrior who wasn't afraid of anything."

"I'm afraid of Izzy when she's angry."

Clary nodded. "Damn straight." Girl power.

"And her cooking." Jace added.

Clary and Simon nodded. It was terrifying.

"But not much else." Jace titled his chair back. "Now, we must get Magnus. Good."

Clary, Simon, and Jace thought hard.

"He doesn't get embarrassed easy." Clary said.

"And he's a powerful warlock. High Warlock of Brooklyn." Simon stated.

"We should talk to one of his friends. Someone who's known him for a long time." Clary said.

* * *

Catarina looked at the three shadowhunters in front of her. "I have people to save." She gestured around the hospital. "I think that's more important then a prank."

"He cast a spell so I would randomly dance." Jace protested.

Catarina's lips twitched. "I remember when he did that to Ragnor. He was even more upset then you."

"He glued a stele to my hand." Clary argued.

Catarina was definitely smiling now. "That's pretty tame."

"I think he's going to turn me into an animal." Simon said with a calm air of someone who has accepted their fate.

"He might." Catarina shrugged.

Clary, Simon, and Jace stoof their ground. Catarina noticed they weren't leaving and sighed. "He dislikes Nickelback."

"That's it?" Jace asked, raising an eyebrow.

Catarina picked up a stethoscope. "That's all your getting from me. Now, if you'll excuse me. I have patients."

* * *

**I'm thinking about doing a one-shot with Izzy, Magnus, and Alec shopping so look out for that. Pranks next chapter. :) **

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything**


	10. Nicholas Cage'd

Magnus and Izzy explored the store, clearly enjoying themselves. Alec reluctantly followed and tried to blend in with the clothes. Unfortunately, they were too brightly colored.

"Ooooh!" Izzy exclaimed. She pressed a black dress to her and wiggled her eyebrows.

"Ah." Magnus nodded. "The classic little black dress."

Alec confiscated the dress after he recovered from his horror and flung it across the store.

Izzy raised an eyebrow. "I think you went extreme big brother there."

Alec crossed his arms. "Someone had to do it."

Izzy patted his shoulder. "You might want to go use it as a security blanket, because I think that's the only dark color here."

Indeed it did seem to be true. Alec warily eyed a rack of clothes that were mainly pink and yellow. It was in their path of travel. His dread increased. "The men's section will be different." _I hope. _He looked to Magnus for confirmation.

"A little more toned down." Magnus reassured. Except that wasn't reassuring at all.

* * *

Jace chuckled to himself as the printer whirred. "Just wait Magnus."

Simon rolled his eyes. "You look absolutely ridiculous doing your evil laugh while the printers spitting that out."

"You're just jealous that your evil chuckle will never get to my level."

"There's levels?"

Jace held his hand level with his thigh. "Simon's evil laugh." He raised it to his hip. "Minnie Mouse's evil laugh." He raised it to his stomach. "Clary's adorable evil laugh."

"Hey. Adorable?" Clary protested.

"You're cute when you're evil." Jace joked. He raised his hand above his head. "My evil laugh."

Simon was distracted by something else. "How do you know about Minnie Mouse?"

Clary waved her hand. "I introduced him to Minne Mouse."

Simon frowned. "_Why?"_ Out of all the mundane things to teach Jace about.

She shrugged. "We had a Disney marathon."

"Don't throw off my groove Simon." Jace said, using his Disney lingo.

* * *

Magnus and Izzy had divided Alec's acceptance of the clothes into four categories. The highest intolerance was a look of open mouthed horror. A level below was him warily eyeing the clothes and looking like was considering running. Closer to acceptance was him holding the clothes at arms lengths with a questioning expression. Accepting was hesitantly holding it and say something along the lines of "It's okay. I guess."

Not many clothes have made it to that stage though. Only a lonely blue shirt and jeans that were on the skinny side.

Magnus hunted through a section of clothes. He was going to get Alec a full outfit, dammit.

Izzy had evil intentions. She-on occasion-offered Alec an exceptionally outlandish piece of clothing to freak him out. She smiled when she happened to find bottoms of the genie pant variety. "Alec." She purred. "How abut this?"

Oh, how Alec hated that question. He pulled himself up from the dejected cross-legged position to see what Izzy had found. When she held up the pants they discovered a whole new level of nonacceptance. Complete and utter disbelief.

Alec held up the pants by the one leg. "What _are _these?"

"Genie pants." Izzy said casually.

He waved them around. "They don't look like pants."

_Hehehehehe. _"Why don't you try them on?"

Magnus perked up at that phrase. He peeked around to see what Izzy had suggested and made a face. "No."

Izzy pouted. "No genie pants?"

"No genie pants." Magnus walked toward them. "Infact, I'm going to take a leaf out of Alec's book." He snapped his fingers and the pants vanished.

* * *

Clary, Simon, and Jace stood outside the door to Magus's loft.

"You think we can just walk in again?" Clary asked.

"He probably has the place booby trapped." Simon said.

"I vote Simon goes first." Jace suggested.

"Of course you do."

Jace clapped Simon on the back. "He tends to pick on me the most. And you the least. You have the best chance."

Simon looked at the door. "I don't think booby traps have a preference."

"By the Angel." Clary pushed them both ahead of her and they fell into the apartment.

Simon and Jace clambered to their feet and stood frozen. "I think we're okay." Simon said.

Jace tilted his head. "Do you hear...quacking?"

A single fluffy duckling waddled into the room. "Quack?"

"Oh no. No No." Jace leaped onto a couch.

"It's so cute!" Clary approached the duck with the universal "you are too cute let me love you forever" face.

"Clary, no! They're evil! Evil creatures!"

Simon snorted. "You're acting like it's a rat or something."

Jace shifted nervously when another duckling appeared. "They're worse."

"I can't believe you're afraid of something that waddles."

Jace fled to higher ground when three more entered. "Okay, this is unnatural. And I like penguins. Let's just get this done." He leaped from chairs to couches like the floor was lava. The ducklings happily followed him.

* * *

Magnus entered the apartment and held the door open for Alec and Izzy. "I think we can call this day a success."

_Or torture._ Alec grumbled.

Magnus waved the clothes into his room and collapsed onto a couch. Shopping takes a toll.

_Look at this photograph_

_Everytime I do it makes me laugh_

Magnus's head snapped up. "Where is that coming from?"

He stalked to the source with Alec and Izzy trailing curiously behind him. He flung his door open and paused.

Everywhere. On the walls. On the ceiling. In the lamp shade. Sticking out of the closet door. Was pictures of Nicholas Cage.

Alec stared. "Who is this?"

_Every memory of looking out the back door_

_I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor_

Magnus flicked his fingers and there was a small fzzzzing sound and smoke. "Nicholas Cage. They Nicholas Cage'd me. Atleast I got the Nickelback to stop."

_Every memory of walking out the front door_  
_I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for_  
_It's hard to say it, time to say it_  
_Goodbye, goodbye._

"There's more then one thing playing it." Izzy realized. She plucked a device from behind the door and crushed it. The song continued to play in another part of the room. "How many are there?"

* * *

**Officially**** the longest chapter I wrote. And I updated quickish. You guys better feel special :) I hope everything makes sense, because I'm kinda half-asleep. But inspiration struck. I kind of put the shopping thing in here, but I might still do a separate one shot. I'll let you guys know. (And I actually like Nickelback(Bottoms up is my favorite). Just the first band I thought of). Thanks for all the favorites and reviews! **

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything**


	11. Chapter 11

"Stay."

Clary and Simon watched amusedly as Jace sternly pointed at the ducklings. He backed up and a few steps and groaned when they followed him.

"They're not dogs." Simon remarked. He smirked when Jace redirected the finger towards him. "Oh no. Not the Momma finger."

"I will use the full force of the Momma finger if I have to." Jace threatened, waving it around.

"Does Maryse use the Momma finger?" Clary questioned.

Alec let out a snort of laughter. "She doesn't need it to be threatening."

The trio whipped around to see Alec standing behind them smiling. "Um, Hi." He gave a half-hearted wave.

"Hello." Jace said warily. The ducklings followed behind him and surrounded him like little fluffy bodyguards.

Alec saw the ducks and went wide-eyed with trying not to laugh.

Jace noticed and gestured toward Alec. "Assassinate!" The ducks just stood there. "Now you stay." Jace looked at Alec. "We're working on it."

"I see they're growing on you." Alec stated.

"Admit it. They're cute." Cooed Clary.

Jace side-eyed them. "Right now they may be cute and fluffy, but soon they will be full-grown monsters."

Simon sensed a possible fight and fished around for a subject change. "Uh Alec. Are those new clothes?"

Alec fidgeted as he was given the once over. "Are those skinny jeans?" Clary asked amazed.

"No! Kinda. I don't want to talk about it."

Jace grabbed the sleeve of his shirt. "And this shirt isn't blue, gray, or black! It's _green_! Magnus has rubbed off on you." He turned to Clary and Simon and waved the sleeve in astonishment.

Alec looked at Jace like he was crazy. "It's really not a big deal."

Jace grabbed a chunk of Alec's hair and held it up to the light, squinting. "Is there product in here?"

"I think I see a sparkle." Simon commented.

Clary rolled her eyes. "By the Angel. You look good Alec."

Alec blinked. "Oh. Thanks." He disengaged himself from Jace and backed away. "I'm gonna go." And he sped off.

* * *

Magnus sat up eagerly when Alec entered the apartment. "How'd it go? Are the ducks a constant terror?"

"He's trying to train them." Alec said, closing the door behind him.

"Oh." He laid back down. "I wasn't expecting that."

"We might have trained duck assassins on our hands."

"How terrifying." Izzy said sarcastically.

Alec warily looked at Isabelle, who seemed irritated. "You okay?"

She huffed. "No. I have that damn Nickelback song stuck in my head."

"Me too." Magnus added miserably. "And you have a Nicholas Cage on the back of your head Isabelle."

"Hmph." She yanked it off and threw in onto a nearby chair.

* * *

"We're kind of like star-crossed lovers." Simon sipped his soda.

Izzy examined the menu. "Really?"

"Yeah. On opposite sides in a war, and we meet in secret."

Izzy eyed him. "I don't. I just leave and not say where i'm going."

"Whenever I do that I get a suspicious glare from Jace. Fraternizing with the enemy he calls it."

"He's just jealous."

Simon smirked. "Yeah. He can't fraternize with Clary because the duck's are always watching."

* * *

Jace yawned and sat up, rubbing his eyes. He looked down and away, only to quickly look back. Three full-grown ducks were staring right at him. "Uuuuuhhh..."

"Quack!"

"Ahhh!"

"QUACK!"

Jace stared back at them. "What!"

Two of the three flapped onto the bed. Jace ripped the sheets off of him and jumped off his bed. "What do you want?!"

Instead of answering, the ducks flew at him. Jace dodged and ran out the door. "Yesterday I was your Mom!"

* * *

Simon paused when Jace ran past him and slammed the door. He could hear a bunch of irritated quacks. "The life of a parent getting to you?"

"More like the life of the hunted." Jace backed away when there was several thunks from behind the door.

"Ah, the assassins are coming after you? How the tables have turned."

Jace glared at him. "You're on my side. Help me."

Simon grabbed a chair and shoved it in front of the door. "There."

He shook his head. "That's not going to stop them."

Simon was about to say how paranoid he was when the chair moved forward an inch. "Oh no."

"Oh no indeed. To the Weapon's room we go."

**Oh Dear, it's been a while. I've been really busy though. I'm sorry if this is rushed, I hope you enjoyed it! I'll try to update soon. Review! ;D**


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